Supposed to Be
by Cheelalaucha
Summary: It's payback time for Neville Longbottom. These are the moments when Neville's soul turns dark, but he realizes it too late. AU, nonHBP compliant.


Rating: K-plus. No gore, just dark-ish thoughts.  
Summary: It's payback time for Neville Longbottom. Bella doesn't stand a chance. These are the moments when Neville's soul turns dark, but he realizes it too late.  
AN: This was written in answer to the Battle of Wills Fic Challenge by Jocelyn.

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"Supposed to Be"

Gryffindors are supposed to be brave. Gryffindors are supposed to be friendly. Gryffindors are _not_ supposed to be murderers. But try telling that to someone who's been a victim of hatred. He, his family, they were all just victims. Justice needed to be done so that they all could rest peacefully. All he wanted was closure. He wanted revenge, cold, fulfilling revenge. But, there is a fine line between wanting revenge and actually taking it.

_That laugh, I know that laugh. She's here._

Her hair shimmered black. Her whole body stood out from the rest of the crowds of people; this one witch and one alone drew his attention. For a moment there was doubt in his mind about the identity of the actual Death Eater, his head was just playing taunting tricks on him, he reasoned. But no. This was no trick, game, or delusion. This, he realized, was his chance.

_She's there, right where I can get her. I know the words, all I have to do is say them._

Oh yes, he knew those words. He'd dreamt of nothing else for six years. One simple incantation, one simple outcome - that was exactly what he needed. No, this was not about him. This was about what she'd done, how she'd hurt people. She deserves everything she has coming to her.

_I won't hold back one once of my power. Whatever she gets, she had coming a long time ago._

An old saying echoed around him as he stared at her backside. This was nothing more that a case of an eye for an eye, or tit for tat, or tooth for a tooth even. That was it and nothing more. It wouldn't matter to anyone if he got rid of her. Who would miss one Death Eater among the giant bunch? No one cares for murderers anyhow. This woman did not deserve to be living, and that he was perfectly sure of. Bellatrix Lestrange would be gone, so what? It's not as if he'd be doing anything wrong.

_I'm helping the side of the Light. I'm avenging my parents, I have a right to!_

All this would be is ridding the cruel planet Earth of another evil soul. Who would object to this action? It all made sense for that one brief moment. He would kill her, and he would not ever think on it again... He set his mind to it and vowed to keep his cool. Killing her would not need much effort, and afterward he would be happy. No, he would be content, not happy. Nothing the world could offer him could possibly make him happy again - not after what she'd done.

_It'll all be over soon._

This was pay back time. He pulled the foreign wand from his pocket and took aim in the middle of the woman's back. Before, his father's wand had held back his true powers. He'd worked three times as hard to get things right, but they always ended up wrong. He had been cursed with nothing but shame since as long as he could remember. But, things were about to change. This spell he would do correct, no matter what. This was the moment that things were going to change, and change for the better. Never again would he hold his head down and hide from the Wizarding world. He would have no reason to.

He opened his mouth to yell the words. And yell them he did, loud and clear for all to hear him.

"_Avada Kedavera!_"

She fell without a sound.

_It's done. Everything is fixed, and now I can live my life freely._

He looked up and was startled to see his friends staring at him with horror-filled expressions. What was wrong with them? Why were all these people he knew making him feel like he'd made a mistake?

He watched the old group of friends and stirred up his last bit of satisfaction. He spoke his words bold, proud, and true. "She's finally gone."

He'd done what he came to do - he had just killed her. He had taken her life and now she couldn't ever harm another person. She was dead! She would never be able to run free. She'd never-

Wait a moment.

She'd never? Never... but hold on - she is gone, as in _gone_, gone? She wouldn't come back again? No, that couldn't be right. He'd only killed her, he hadn't... taken her life. She'd come back some time, once she was finished being... dead. Wouldn't she? She would, right?

_But this is good! She's gone as in - Never. Coming. Back. I killed her!_

He couldn't take his eyes off those scared and worried faces. What was wrong with them!

Then it hit him. There was no going back. Neither Bellatrix Lestrange nor Neville Longbottom would ever be coming back from that one dark place. Both lives were lost to hatred.

_She deserved to die!_

_**I did it. **_

_She is gone for good!_

_**I did it! **_

_She can't wreck any more lives!_

_**I DID IT!**_

**You killed to get back at her. You might as well have been her. You two are exactly the same.**

_I didn't mean to-_

_**You did.**_

_She killed-_

_**So did you.**_

_My parents-!_

_**Were not worth it.**_

_She hurt-_

_**You killed. You took her life.**_

And he knew that was true. He had done it. He had killed her, and they were no different now. His conscience got through to him and now he couldn't take it. What had he done?

He's a Gryffindor! He's supposed to love and care for people! He was supposed to just let it go, all his pain. He wasn't worth a bit to anyone, and he should have known it too. This kid could never go after his parent's attacker. He was supposed to just hide from all the rage inside himself against that woman, that life-crushing villain.

Neville Longbottom wouldn't hurt a fly, a dog, a fish, a bird. He'd hide in a corner and cry his eyes out, end of story. That was fate's plan for him, for the rest of his life. He'd be less than nothing, a speck of dust on the bookshelf of the Wizarding world, a pimple on a flea, a grain of sand on the magical seashore of life.

That is who he was _supposed_ to be. That's not who he _was_.


End file.
